happy freakin easter

i hate people. yet i love them. i love at peoples myspace and facebook profiles and i realize how alone i really am and how much i hate myself and envie others. its amazing really. i feel so bad about how much ive neglected my friends, but its been really ahrd for me recently to go out. i love being around people, its just become so much of a hassle for me to go out to parites. i dont want to drink or go to large parties, yet thats all that everyone seems to do around here. so, i stay in my room by myself, alone and miserable. i know its partly due to my depression flaring up again, but i dont want that to be an excuse. its a shitty excuse. so im just stuck. whatever. people hate me and i guess i have to be ok with that. at least before i had my kitties to keep me company. and jill as well. but now that she's miss popular, which im completely stoked for her, i have no one. but, i do realize that if i call people to hang out then they will start to call me, but i hate imposing myself on people. i cant wait to escape to florence without telling anyone that im going. that will be soo much fun you haven o idea.